Now, you would think that there wouldn't be too much to say about gardening, but no... not this time. For some reason, whenever something happens over here, we somehow manage to turn it into a big and hilarious thing that just completely blows the minds of the other, more sane people of this world. Such it is with this instance, and I even made illustrations to prove it!
There came a point a little bit over a month ago where I decided that my apartment was too boring. The snowless winter was all gloomy and wet outside, and then it was quiet and dull inside. With only a couple pictures hanging on the wall, and then a mistletoe leftover from Christmas (why it is still there, I don't know...), I thought it was time for some more decorating, but not in the form of big and obnoxious posters of movie stars as everyone else in this complex seems to enjoy.
No. I was going to get plants! Something that could (literally) bring life into this world of decay and gloom! Something that I could cultivate and nurture, and receive beauty AND oxygen in return!
So with that epiphany, I went over to Macy's, and started out with some parsley and lavender seeds. With these babies we could get eye-pleasing beauty, fresh smells, and fresh seasoning!
Right?
But alas, after waiting the instructed two weeks described on the labels, there was nothing gained from the fruit of my labors....
So then my roommate got this GENIUS idea!
We live right across the street from the LDS Philanthropies Building, where there is a whole flower bed full of big lavender bushes.
So her thought was, why don't we just get a little sprout from over there and plant it here?
So I'm thinking, okay, "sprout"... as in a little branch, or tiny sapling-like thing, right? Makes sense. I still didn't think it would work, because we'd just been using dirt filled bowls for the seeds (we didn't have any actual pots, or real planting soil for that matter), but whatever. As long as it was just a "sprout" nothing could go wrong, right?
No no no no no, she comes back with this whole bush!
I just.... deguhhhhh.... WHAT? A BUSH??? HOW DID YOU PULL OUT A WHOLE BUSH????
Apparently, she accidentally tore the whole thing out in the attempt to pull out the "sprout." Mind you, it wasn't a big bush, but still... IT WAS A BUSH!!!
Now I'm thinking, oh great, this thing is going to die, we have no place to put it, there is dirt everywhere, and we, in the dead of night, stole a bush from the LDS PHILANTHROPIES Building (now really, think about that for a minute....)
A rather humorous conversation ensued after that:
ME: I thought you said you were getting a sprout!
ROOMMATE: This is almost a sprout!
ME: IT'S A BUSH!
ROOMMATE: It's not that big!
ME: IT'S A BUSH!
ROOMMATE: Well YOU'RE the one that wanted a lavender plant in the first place!
ME: But where the heck are we going to put that?
ROOMMATE: A bowl!
ME: What bowl!?
ROOMMATE: The mixing bowl!
ME: But we use that!
ROOMMATE: What about the bath tub?
ME: WE CAN'T PUT IT IN THE BATH TUB, ARE YOU CRAZY?????
So while I am explaining to her the major technical difficulties of planting a bush in the bathtub (as in, just because there is plenty of water in there, that doesn't mean it's going to grow!), I'm imagining us making a crazed, emergency trip to Home Depot... this being sometime between the hours of 10-11 pm (assuming the store wasn't closed). It was the only way I could foresee saving this poor, pathetic little thing that was forcefully ripped from its home.
But that endeavor was not possible within the next 12 hours, as we didn't know where the nearest Home Depot was, or if there even was one nearby, and we weren't too confident that there were many people willing to pay gas money just to have their car dirtied by bush matter like our carpet had been in just five minutes. Nor was my roommate willing to pay x amount of dollars for dirt when we "could just get it from outside", as she put it. But then the problem still remained, WHERE THE HECK ARE WE GOING TO PUT THE DIRT?? AND NO, WE'RE NOT PUTTING IT IN THE BATHTUB!!!
Continuing the conversation:
ME: Do you think we could try putting it back?
ROOMMATE: I'm not putting it back after all that work!
ME: But it's just going to die in here!
ROOMMATE: IT WAS DEAD WHEN I GOT THERE!!!
ME: THEN WHY DID YOU PICK IT????
Eventually it got to the point where it seemed like no solution could be reached for this poor bush in our increasingly heated conversation.
(^Apparently, I don't say things right when I am angry)
Until finally we were lucky enough to stumble across an empty box under my bed that was just the right size. So after lining it with a garbage bag, we, using mainly spoons, filled it up with dirt from the empty flower bed around the apartment complex outside. All was well until I got attacked by that stupid rabid squirrel...
Well okay, there was no squirrel, but we did get some pretty funny looks as people were walking by.
Anyway, we fill the box up with dirt, trimmed the bush a bit, and stuck him in there. And then we named him Charlie, and (miraculously) he is still alive and well today!
Oh, and another update!
MY PARSLEY FINALLY SPROUTED!!!!!!!!!
Something also sprouted in my original lavender bowl, but something tells us it's not quite lavender. Looks more like a weed or something... for now we have called it the Mysterious Sprout Thing (or MST, not to be confused with Mountain Standard Time). You can't really see it in this picture, but it's the little green dot just to the left of the center.
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